Can YOU Stand the Rain..for YOU?

     Besides being one of my favorite all time jams this song really speaks an important message. It's only proper that the people we want in our lives are those that are down to stick it through with us, in all aspects of our journey. Those that can stand the rain. And you know, rightfully so. Nowhere in the Book of Life did it ever say our walk on earth would be easy. Infact-- on the contrary, we are guaranteed a hard and difficult existance, yes with its ups but as well as those inevitable downs. That being said, this is isn't your typical "choose your friends wisely" post. You know this already. Today I would like to explore the subject of loyalty-- to self.

     How dedicated are you to yourself??? Your hopes, your dreams, beliefs, and inner being. Do you stick up for yourself in the midst of adversity? Do you encourage yourself to push on through the hard times in order to achieve those dreams in your heart? Do you light your own fire of hope or are you actually the one pouring water on your own flame? When your beliefs are tested do you stand firm by yourself ready to fight for what you know? Or do you push yourself over, bowing to others? The question I am asking here is can YOU stand the rain....for yourself???

     I have been so blessed to have the good Lord place some wonderful friends in my life that are there for me through thick and thin. They support my dreams, my aspirations and my purpose.They uplift me when I'm down. They are honest with me when I'm lying to myself.  They are there when I'm smart and they are still there when I'm doing stupid things. Granted, they don't hesitate to make me aware of my stupidity, but it's all done with and out of love. My friends can and have definately withstood the test of rain. So I asked myself, how about me? Unfortunately, this reflection revealed how I've often been that shady type of friend to myself.

     A song that at first listen I had fell in love with (love now revoked), is called "Me Myself and I" by Beyonce. In this song, she croones about how she has decided to be her own best friend because she knows that "I will never disappoint myself." So this is one of those songs with lyrics you immediately want to embrace because you so much want to believe it. Who wants to think that they ever fail themselves? We have exceptionally higher standards for ourselves regarding ourselves, because we KNOW ourselves, and are well acquainted with who we are. Therefore, we expect that we would never do anything to ourselves that would bring us harm. Think hard. Think again. This is a false and detrimentally deceitful ideology.

     Noone is perfect. Paul laments over this truth of the human condition when he pens,

"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:19).

We are all failures. Noone is immune to making mistakes. OF COURSE we will disappoint ourselves! Over and over I have seen myself in that position where it's like, dang I definately knew better --but I did it anyway. Or maybe I didn't know, but the consequences still hurt and I have noone to blame but my own ignorance. At times like this the temptation is to derade myself. Admittedly, in the past I have insulted myself about how stupid I was or bad or incompetent. Yet as I now think about it, that is not the reaction I would expect from a friend. Good friends don't kick you when you are down, they stand by you and help lift you back up. If we can require that from another person why can't we demand the same from ourself? Whether we are excelling or failing it's important to stick by ourself in the same loving, supportive manner a good friend would.

 You must first learn to love and treat yourself with respect before others can learn how to love and respect you.

I have decided that YES, I Can  weather through my own storms. YES, I Can stand the rain FOR MYSELF. Can you?

5 Reasons NOT to Answer When He/She Calls

     In purposeful oblivion to the cheese that certainly drips from this choice of topic in an attempt to be relevant to this season of love (check the date)--- I will yet proceed. Because I know you, and I know that you need these reminders, now more than ever. Or more accurately, I know myself. When the stores turn pink, chocolate boxes make their planet invasion, and heart decorations are inescapable, it sure makes it hard to stay determined on your resolve to give a complete cold shoulder to HIM. (or HER, guys you're weak too!)

     You know who HIM or HER is. That guy/girl you reluctantly broke up with but you know it was for the best. Now all of a sudden because of the climate you are starting to think of him/her...Why was it you stopped talking to him/her??? Uh huh. Let's think.

#1. Because You're OVER.
I know it seems like an obvious fact that I don't need to remind you of. But I do. Sometimes we forget that we and that person are actually no more. Don't fantasize about the man or woman as if you still were a couple. That ship is sailed. Earth to person! Let's live in the realm of reality. Which brings me to...

#2. Because S/He's an EX.
You've heard it before: an ex-lover is an EX for a reason! Please don't be ditzy and do me a favor. Recount all those wonderful thousands of smart epiphanies you had as you realized why he/she was all wrong for you. If those reasons haven't changed then neither should your mind nor your actions (as in- staying away from him or her!).

#3. Because You're BUSY.
It's scientific fact. To get over something or someone- one needs to replace their space with another. So get up off your lamenting booty and relish in your hobbies. That way you just might miss that phone call when s/he attempts and you won't have to go through that "what do I do??" dilemna staring at your phone ringing because you are waaay too busy to notice anyway! I personally have school, work, and personal dreams that I'm chasing.

#4. Because S/he speaks Chinese. And you don't.
Or at least it seems like it. You know the communication problems you had. You say one thing s/he hears another and takes it running. S/he says something and inside you understand it as gibberish. Why. Why do you want to torment yourself? Even if you answer the phone you will just end up all frustrated and pissed because you could not have a straight conversation. Save your breath and ears for conversation that's meaningful.

#5. Because You KNOW ALREADY.
It was King Solomon who said "there is nothing new under the sun." And this is true. The number fifth reason (and ultimately the best reason!) is that you and dude/dudette have been through this before. You already know what they're going to say. You already know they say crazy things that are going to make you mad. You already know they don't really care about you, but more so for themself, and thus will make insensitive comments. You already know they also just might try to run that game of memory lane and "why don't we try it again". But you already know you don't want to do that. So then. Stupidity comes from going against *sensical knowledge. Don't be stupid. You already know.

*Yes i made this word up. So what go tell yo mama! It makes sense.

Alrighty Blogland Sweeties I leave you with an inspirational song to keep you focused during this desperate and ugly lonely time. Lol. You will make it. Don't turn back....The song is "I Won't Go Back." Love. it.

The F.O.R.T.'s Revelation

     She trembles with fear, excitement and anticipation. Can she actually do this??? Or the real question...Will anyone even give it attention??? In defiance to fear she clicks. Clicks. And clicks again. Ladies and gentleman she has done it. This lady has created her blog! [confetti in the air]..spread the word to yo mama!

image from  Hiring for Hope website

     Welcome to The F.O.R.T.!!! It is my pleasure to bring into existence a place that offers something so unique and rare that *look high and low* cannot be found anywhere else---my perspective!!! [insert thunderous clapping audience here] I cannot be anymore thrilled and frightened! to introduce and to share with you all my world-- you know, the one who's geographic location is My Mind. I cordially invite those living outside my world to enter mine and embark upon this journey of life with me. Let's figure this thang called life together.